Decent customer services?!

I was trying to send a document to a publisher in Scotland, called The New Curiosity Shop. Having had four different file formats rejected. I wrote an e-mail expressing my frustration.

Noel replied as follows:

“Sorry to hear that your life force is draining away.

I’ve just tested the form and it worked fine for me, and previous submitters.

It filters files based on their extensions – are you sure that the filename ended in .doc for example?

Apart from that, I can’t help much further, and I would not want to feel that we were the cause of further diminution of your life here on Earth.”

How good is that? Not really much help in effect but it didn’t matter. It still didn’t work, but after I suggested adding .wtf to the possible file formats, he simply said send to me here on this e-mail address.

Blood pressure restored to normal; document despatched and a smile replacing my scowl. The job’s, as they say, a good’un

It’s not unusual . . . . .

For those unfamiliar with the story, a certain Gabriella Capra, from Perugia, is suing the producers of Peppa Pig. She is very tired of people ‘taking the mick’ out of her by referring to Gabriella Goat – a character in the programme – in Italian Capra means Goat. This was my response in The Independent.

Strangely, I do have a friend called Gabriella Capra who lives in Perugia . . . . .

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Complicated? What would Joan Rivers have said . . .

A report released by the Department of Health cited multiple errors, including failing to detect deteriorating vital signs during the procedure prior to the death of Joan Rivers

Negligence has not been alleged. The death was classified as a “therapeutic complication” . . . . .

What would she have made of that?! It doesn’t get any more friggin’ complicated!