How many players?

My lack of knowledge of sport and sporting matters is almost legendary. Interestingly though this seems to exist not only in my waking hours but also at a subconscious level. My mind is so uncontrollably (and unprofitably) busy that I often wake feeling that I have not actually been asleep and resting but rather living a parallel life. These two factors came together last night when in my ‘other life’ I was being asked to play for a football team! However this team was not one of the usual 5 or 11 a side. This team had 8 players per side, a number which even I recognised as abnormal. My quizzical expression received this explanation. ‘It’s like a normal five-a-side team but with three extra wicketkeepers!’

Artificial intelligence? Pff!

For those of you concerned for the growing incursion of so called AI, I say fear not! How can I refute the pundits so easily ? Simply, with two examples of the irrational behaviour of technology.

Early this week, a ‘voice over agency’ proudly announced that their ultra – sophisticated algorithms had found some work which correlated directly with my profile. You may ask ‘what was this passport to fame and fortune?’

Well, ‘voiceover needed‘ – good start! And …..young, female Oriental origin .. hmmm. You see my point, but the critical event is yet to come.

Spotify enables you to access zillions of tracks. It also prides itself on being able to suggest music that will appeal to the listener. So while I was washing up after dinner, I was listening to Ron Sexsmith and Kings of Convenience. Suddenly I heard something that did not fit with these artists nor with my taste – Michael sodding Buble! I rest my case, sleep easy, my friends.

Horny colleagues?!

When talking of people with whom you work should they not be hyphenated? As in ‘co-workers’!

Tony the Tiger? No. Babe?!

So this tiger lost all her cubs and went into tragic decline. So the keepers gave her some piglets ….. in disguise. AND she has adopted them!

My concern is what will happen when they don’t roar very convincingly?

Still a sweet story!

Mistake or Freudian slip?

Whilst reading an article about Angelina Jolie’s obsession with daggers (don’t ask!) I came across this reference to her relationship with Billy Bob Thornton: ‘she wore a vile of his blood around her neck?’