You mean REAL customer service?!

The other day I had a very strange experience – I spoke to someone on a helpline who was generally helpful. Yes, really! He spoke clearly and concisely, rather than churning out pre-scripted corporate speak. I thanked him – I really did.

Normally when dealing with so-called customer services I end the call with a craving for the anaesthetic of strong alcohol, or the solace of a padded room, where I can wreak havoc on innocent, inanimate objects. On this occasion, I ended the call whistling in a carefree manner much to my own, and my wife’s surprise.

Humour Humor

Dydd Gŵyl Dewi Hapus

Happy St David’s Day! At secondary school, this was a half day holiday. In the morning, you’d see all the girls wearing daffodils and the lads wearing leeks, often of massive phallic proportions. Ours was a boys only school and around mid-morning the inevitable would happen and you would hear a massive crunching chorus as boy after boy would begin to devour their leeks. The smell was overpowering . . . . . Yes this was the grammar school that brought you Rowan Williams – former Archbishop of Canterbury, Harry Secombe of Goons fame, Spencer Davis and me . . . Discuss.



American Football teams ? Eagles, Bears, Panthers, Lions

Grimsby Town – mascot is Harry Haddock – fans sing ‘we’re only happy when we’re fishing!’

UK 1 USA 0


Important Change

Up until now you have been able to access this blog from and

After some consideration I no longer use the domain

So in future please use

Humour Humor Thoughts

Back to the future? No-forward to the past!

I’ve moved one of our Bluetooth speakers into the bedroom. The idea is that as I’m slowly coming round after another night of spasmodic sleep or recovering after an terrifying adventure on ‘Planet Rowland’, I can listen to the soothing sounds of the ‘Today’ programme. It also prepares me for the next round of obscene suggestions from the government or more revelations regarding the criminal activities of our ruling classes

Today’s ‘Today’ was very strange in that I felt I’d been transported back in time – Here’s Tony Blair! And now here is William Hague! Two things struck me immediately:

1 It was difficult to discern any differing principles between two supposedly opposing party representatives. In fact, it was quite difficult to discover any principles at all!

2 Why does William Hague always sound like somebody impersonating William Hague?


Life Quotations Thoughts

Lies, damned lies and . . . more lies!

We are surrounded by liars at every level. I’m not even going to mention the Government as they have taken lying to the heights — to the point of openly denying what they have said even when it has been recorded! No -I am talking about the habitual lying that we are confronted with everyday from all directions. My network provider which, for the sake of anonymity, I shall call ‘a number more than two and less than four’ sends me a message on the 20th of every month saying ‘you have nearly reached you spend limit’. I am only a week into the current charging period and there are 29.48 GB left from my 30 GB allowance. So it is untrue, yes it is a lie.

Similarly I regularly get notices saying my iCloud storage is nearly full and it never has been. The number of scam callers I get is phenomenal and I know I’m not alone. One company has called several times and I answer them when I want to irritate the hell out of them and waste their time. The conversation goes like this. The guy introduces himself saying: ‘I am the Home Insulation Advisor for your area.’ ‘Oh!’ I say, trying to sound impressed by his self designated status. I then let him ramble on for as much time as I have to spare, before asking the $64,000 question. ‘So are you from the council or is it a Government department?’ Here there is usually some pleasing hesitation and a large chunk of nervousness leaping into Mr Blusters sales pitch. He says the name of his company – at which point I simply say – ‘So you are private company adopting a name and stance that you think will convince innocent members of the public to part with valuable cash by falling for your seedy little subterfuge.‘ The silence is deafening.

It is claimed that Oscar Wilde (and several other famous people, apparently) said ‘Always be nice to your enemies – nothing annoys them more’ which is entirely true but in some cases a slightly different approach can be rather satisfying, too.


Eat locally?

Yes – we have eaten tonight at Vedaa – lovely Indian food. We regularly buy pizzas from Wood Oven Pizza – the best I’ve eaten since we lived in Italy.

But this is a new place..,.,,

Shall not be supporting this local business…..


Zout magazine

This month’s contribution