This journal begins with me ranting, so there’s nothing new there – but neither is there anything new about the topic – CEOs and their colossal remuneration. If a company is doing badly, bonuses are still paid. Blame is rarely attributed to anyone, and even if there is they simply retire with a golden handshake. However when you look at the situation for employees, anyone underperforming is likely to be ‘let go’ i.e. fired! One law for the rich etc.
Conceptual art is another target. Please read this gem below – the artwork in question is a 12 in.square divided into 2304 squares – nothing more. However the description is unbelievable! In these cases, I have to agree with Gilbert Adair who said: ‘I demand from a painting a whiff of sweat, a sense that labour has been exerted.’
I added a bit of colour to my own work which seems to have worked.
I also included some work by illustrators that I like – Tommy Kane and Danny Gregory, whose books are well worth checking out.
I also got involved in a project whereby a journal was sent from one person to another around the world, each adding their own sketches or whatever. I think after about a year it came back to me. First of all, I got slated by one participant for covering too many pages whereas in fact it wasn’t me who did it. Secondly, when it finally came home, there was nothing in it, that was remotely interesting, which was a shame as it was a nice idea. Finally, there was one journal that did matter – the one which I gave to Charlie to celebrate his Ph.D a Moleskine with his new official title, Dr. B.J. Banks I was so pleased for him.
Still sticking with a small Moleskine with plain pages, this Journal seems to contain quite a lot of sketches using different techniques.. I was pleased with this drawing of a Royal Doulton cup and saucer – an Art-deco design called Tango.
Much of the early part of journal is taken up with details for the wedding. One episode which I don’t seem to have recorded is about ‘carrying colours’. We went to my favourite shoe shop and whilst I was trying some on, I noticed Lesley was holding and virtually cuddling a pair of blue shoes which she had clearly fallen in love. So I bought them for her wedding outfit. A few days later, whilst walking through Manchester, I saw the perfect outfit which would match the shoes – perfectly! When I told her that I’d seen this blue suit, she agreed to try it, but I could sense that there was some doubt. As it turned out, the outfit was perfect and matched the shoes perfectly, and I felt pretty pleased that I’d overcome the ‘men have no sense of colour’ prejudice to the extent that she now trusts my judgement and I’d gained some brownie points!
The other issue about our proposed two month honeymoon in Paciano was Archie. I had already arranged his passport before meeting Lesley, but I missed out one vital step – researching the cost of flights. It transpired that for the two of us flights would cost around £250-£300 but with Archie, it rocketed to £1500 as we’d have to fly British Airways. So there was only one solution – we’d drive which was not going to be a problem except that at that time I was driving a two seater Smart car which is hardly designed for long-distance travel. However, it all turned out well – the car behaved perfectly and Archie was a perfect passenger, though his reactions to my driving, were occasionally a trifle exaggerated!
The honeymoon was lovely – the village welcomed me and my bride with open arms and we had a party at the L’Oca (our local pizzeria) which was fantastic. I also took Lesley to visit some of my favourite places including Orvieto. Orvieto is built on the top of a hill, so you park on the outside and take the funicular railway up to the city itself, where a shuttle takes you to the Piazza in front of the Duomo. I’d not been there for a while so we were just standing staring at the magnificent frontage of the Duomo, when I realised that Lesley was sobbing quietly. I was baffled until she said ‘I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.’ I can’t argue with that and obviously we always return there when we are in Paciano. (I don’t think my view of the side elevation quite does the Duomo justice, but I tried!)
And that’s how the honeymoon continued – lots of fun – eating, drinking, and adventures together – for the three of us!
Having only just returned from Singapore, I was then heading off to spend a week with John an old ‘bandmate’ on Bornholm. On arriving in Copenhagen, Jon and I ‘chewed the fat’ over a beer or two on the quayside, surrounded by the chatter of people, the clink of glasses, and the sound of the wind blowing through the rigging on the yachts – lovely. The following day we headed to the island and arrived at our retreat. In Denmark, the musicians union is very well organised and one of the benefits is that members are entitled to free time in one of their retreats – writing, rehearsing, or just chilling. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn’t expecting a massive farmhouse with two rehearsal rooms, one with a concert grand and enough bedrooms to sleep about 10 people, and that was just for the two of us.
The huge mountain of gear that Jon had brought took some setting up, but eventually we managed to record some tracks and put some guide vocals before collapsing into bed at around 2 am. The week continued in that vein – music, beer and herrings – lots of them. One day we were invited out to lunch which involved beer, schnapps and about six different types of herring dishes. Being a non-fishy person, I was surprised how much I enjoyed the herring though I suspect the alcoholic accompaniment helped.
Saturday night, Jon and Jaspa, his sax player, were doing a gig at a party so off we went. In Denmark, the bars often run a sort of savings club, much like Christmas clubs in the UK except the proceeds are simply spent on a massive party with no spurious excuses such as Xmas or somebody’s birthday, just drinking. We arrive at 6:15 and the place is already jumping as they had already been drinking since two. A few of the enormous Vikings help us in with the gear, and we start. Incidentally I do not use the term Viking in any negative sense but with their flowing blond locks, huge beards and massive stature, it seems entirely appropriate. After a while, I sit out for a few tunes and view the scene. A woman who had been chatting-up Jon earlier, is arm-wrestling with a Viking on the bar and the guy next to me is asleep in his beer. Then things begin to really hot up. The Amazonian arm-wrestler is now lying on the floor, engaged in fierce competition with a different massive Viking. She also appears to be winning, again.
An uninvited guest appears and is promptly and physically ejected with as much force as is necessary, and a little more, for good measure. As tempers rise, the evening appears to resemble a Scandinavian remake of The Blues Brothers. I grab my guitar and rejoin the band which has taken up a strategic position with a pool table separating us from the mob . . I mean, crowd. However it all ended very amicably, and we get a lovely send off. I finally collapse into bed at 4:30 am, but at least I’m still intact and unscathed.
This journal also included seeing Dylan Moran live at the Lowry who is a hysterically funny. We also went to see ‘Insects’ which was described as a German morality tale about wingless ants, which frankly doesn’t really sell the idea, but it was an amazing spectacle with massive mechanical creations and characters being flown in from gigantic cranes. It was fantastic.
We also saw Tartuffe which apparently was brilliant though I have zero recollection of seeing it! One Sunday, we headed off to see a touring exhibition of Matisse cut-outs in Kirby, frankly an unlikely venue. It took us ages to find it as it was in the library which was closed. However, obligingly they opened up for us and we effectively had a private viewing.
It was also my mother‘s 90th birthday and she was delighted with the clockwork ‘Racing Grannies’ complete with walkers that I bought for her. Really.
The journal ends with the two of us back in Florence at Il Vinaino.
A New Year deserves a new journal and I returned to the larger format, again hoping that my drawings would expand to fill the available space but to no avail – the first dozen pages seem to be dominated by photos, cuttings and cartoons – including this unhappy ocelot, Hermann the giant bunny and another wonderful cartoon by Gary Larson. !
I also mentioned how Archie had been seen parading around the street with a large rodent in his mouth before bringing the splendid prize to yours truly. In case, you were unaware Archie was my beautiful Bengal, a ferocious hunter with considerate side when it came to presents.
Inevitably there are quotes:
‘It takes a long time to grow young.’ – Picasso
‘Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.’ – Benjamin Franklin
In February, we made a trip to Foiano Della Chiana for Carnevale. The tradition there is a procession of enormous floats, which are built on lorry chassis with numerous motorised extended arms which animate the float. I’d seen it before, but wanted to share it with Lesley I walked with her to the piazza where I knew the floats assembled before the procession, and as we turned the corner, we were confronted with half a dozen of these massive animated animated floats. They are unbelievably big as tall as a three story building, with ‘arms’ that wave or horses legs which gallop – horses which have heads that are 10 feet long!
After sometime admiring these automatons, we walked into the centre where we could watch the procession. Turning another corner, we discovered a fairground style roundabout on which about a dozen musicians dressed in Denham, Chairman Mao jackets played, pausing occasionality in dramatic posers. As if that wasn’t enough, suddenly the entire roundabout moved across the piazza as that too was built on a lorry chassis. Yes, Zig Zac Zou from Paris were certainly worth seeing.
There was one other noteworthy occurrence. Lesley didn’t drink red wine until I converted her with a bottle of Chianti which Steffen had given me. Now there are over 1500 Chianti’s and I never found that one again. However that day in Foiano, in a restaurant we’d stumbled across, there it was on the wine list. Montegiachi – Cinughi dei Pazzi – which roughly translates as ‘crazy people’!
Sadly this journal also included the death of two very funny people – Barry Cryer and Linda Smith. Ironically, I’d written about Cryer on the radio a short while before, when he told a story of a stand-up gig where a few minutes into his routine, a posh heckler shouted, ‘Excuse me. What is it that you do?’ Cryer replied politely: ‘Give me a few more minutes and maybe I’ll show you’, before continuing his routine. After a few minutes the same posh voice rang out ‘I repeat . . . . .’ Linda Smith, for me, will go down in history for her wonderful response to the idea of introducing ‘third of a pint’ glasses in pubs. She dismissed the idea with ‘That’s not drinking that’s homeopathy!’ Fabulous.Both sadly missed but never forgotten.
I am currently reading a novel by a well-respected British author and though I’m not sure I’m enjoying it, I think I will keep going to the (bitter?) end. Once upon a time, I would always finish a novel, whether I liked it or not. That was until I realised what a waste of time and effort it was. I remember the book which I was reading when it happened, though I won’t mention its name, as frankly likes and dislikes are totally subjective and that particular novel has been described as ‘one of the funniest books ever’ and ‘picaresque’ – a good term to use if you want to sound learned.
It was on that note that I began to look at the words and phrases used to promote novels, such as ‘Wit’ and ‘intelligent’ both of which appear on the cover of my current read. Then there’s ‘tone’‘well-crafted’ and the all time favourite ‘narrative’. Of course, comments from people given pre-publication access to the text, are likely to be of a set sympathetic to the author and the genre. A ‘serious’ novel is most likely to be reviewed by the Guardian, The Observer or Sunday times rather than The Sun, or The Mirror and certainly no-one would want to appear negative towardsthose lauded by the establishment.
I often wonder if they have ever sent pre-release texts for review anonymously as that would surely bring out some ‘gritty realism’. Of course the reviewers might simply play safe to avoid a massivefaux pas like those film critics who prematurely dismissed Psycho, The Third Man and Butch Cassidy. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t mind a review that was just a little bit more honest. Music reviewers often draw comparisons with previous works, but I have yet to see a book cover review that says ‘Not as good as their first novel, but interesting nevertheless’ or the beautifully damning ‘slightly better than average.’ In the meantime, I shall plough on with my reading task and make my own decision as to whether this novel is ‘Like Shakespeare, only more so …..’
Early in 2006, Lesley and I made a trip to Foiano Della Chiana for Carnevale. The tradition there is a procession of enormous floats, which are built on lorry chassis with numerous motorised extended arms which animate the float. I’d seen it before, but wanted to share it with Lesley. We walked to the piazza where I knew the floats assembled before the procession, and as we turned the corner, we were confronted with half a dozen of these massive animated animated floats. They are unbelievably big – as tall as a three story building, with ‘arms’ that wave or horses legs which gallop – horses with heads over 10 feet long! You can see the scale of them in the pic with Lesley dwarfed in the foreground!
After sometime admiring these automatons, we walked into the centre where we could watch the procession. Turning another corner, we discovered a fairground style roundabout on which about a dozen musicians dressed in denim, Chairman Mao jackets played, pausing occasionality in dramatic posers. As if that wasn’t enough, suddenly the entire roundabout moved across the piazza as that too, was built on a lorry chassis. Yes, Zig Zac Zou from Paris were certainly worth seeing. And the procession itself was utterly spectacular with dancers, tons of confetti and lots of music. A spectacle well worth visiting
There was one other noteworthy occurrence. Lesley didn’t drink red wine until I converted her with a bottle of Chianti which Steffen had given me. There are over 1500 Chianti’s and I never found that one again. However that day in Foiano, in a restaurant we’d stumbled across, there it was on the wine list. Montegiachi – Cinughi dei Pazzi – which roughly translates as ‘crazy people’ which seemed an apt conclusion to a pretty crazy day! Needless to say, it wasn’t our only visit to Foiano…..
Having been in a virus-induced stupor since the end of November, I’ve seen a fair amount of television. I say ‘seen’ rather than ‘watched’ as it has been a pretty passive and tedious experience on the whole. One of the things that I find increasingly annoying are the ‘fever-pitch’ voice-overs trying to sell us everything from fabric softeners to electric vehicles. Apparently these super cars have the ability to banish all other traffic from the roads whilst transporting you into a land of spray tans and ever-smiling people. Sure.
Some years ago the manufacturer of a ‘pure’ soup called Nourish, were taken to a task by the Advertising Standards Authority for a large hoarding showing a naked man with his personal parts covered by a bottle of the soup, with the caption ‘nothing to hide’. The ASA felt that it was inappropriate as it might be seen by children. Interestingly the ASA also noted that the image ‘bore no relation to the product advertised.’ Really? Well, if this a point of contention, let’s take a look at a few ads I’ve seen recently. Can someone point out, even a tenuous link between a broadband supplier and a squadron of goats on hang gliders? Could somebody introduce me to some of these people who get excited and spontaneously begin to dance, after sniffing freshly washed clothes?!? – on second thoughts, just point them out from a distance. And where are these groups who make the solitary use of a bingo app into an enjoyable experience that can be shared with a community of happy, smiling friends?
I could go on …. and I inevitably will, but fortunately, for you, dear reader, it will only be my long-suffering wife, who will have to listen to my continued ranting.
PS
One of the things on television, which I did enjoy however was the classic ‘North by Northwest’ in which our hero declares ’In the world of advertising, there is no such thing as a lie. There’s only expedient exaggeration.’
rowlandwithaw 